A review copy of “Dungeon Babies” was provided by the publisher. Find more DMs Guild Reviews on my website and YouTube channel.

Support my work by using my affiliate links and pledging via Patreon.

Designed by: Jason Bradley Thompson

Have you ever played D&D and wondered: What if I had all the fighting abilities of a D&D adventurer, with all the weaknesses of a newborn baby?

No?

Me neither!

Imagine by surprise when I read through Dungeon Babies, a full variant ruleset that allows 5e players to embody super dungeon-crawling infants and toddlers.

Even more surprising: it’s incredibly well-designed, insightful, and hilarious.

The origins of the Dungeon Babies are left purposefully vague, but they’re dropped as an adventuring party of infants, typically in front of a dungeon, by a magical stork, who instructs them to collect treasure and kill things in order to level up (literally, GP = XP for the babies).

Leveling up is always important in RPGs, but for the Dungeon Babies each level represents an important milestone in real-world child development.

Each time they gain a level, the babies can select from a list of over 30 Baby Feats. These feats are hilariously important, as a newborn can’t speak or read, can’t walk (or even crawl), sucks at resting, has zero potty training, and can’t even properly hold anything (the stork helpfully straps weapons to their hands).

Baby Feats include Eat Food, Babbling, Roll Over, Teeth, and Improved Pooping (normally babies poo themselves on a 1 or 2 on every d20 roll, with Improved Pooping, it’s only on a 1!).

And yes, there are rules for crying (and feats for making it more powerful), charming adults, crapping your diaper, and ingesting food and milk to heal.

The tables are absolutely wild, including a Baby Chaos table that will make any parent laugh, sigh, and shake their head, and a d100 favorite foods table that would make the Wild Magic Surge table jealous with all its crazy magical effects.

dungeon babies stork

Dungeon Babies begin with their full mental attributes, but only a 1d4 for STR, CON, and DEX. The exception are certain classes. Fighters get a full STR score for example, and rogues get full DEX.

The rulebook includes slight tweaks and modifications to 14 classes (no artificer, but ranger is split up into hunter and beastmaster).

The barbarian rages while crying, while the hunter is the only baby who can wield an oversize longbow.

Spellcasters can enjoy over 30 new baby-themed spells, such as Childproof, Swaddle,  Stone to Milk, Infinite Mess, and Mordenkainen’s Wondrous Walker.

Perfection.

Even without the cheeky baby theme, this is a really good-looking, well put-together rulebook.

The introduction provides insight into the designer’s hows and whys. The rules are clearly laid out, with optional variants (the entire magical/favorite foods table can easily be ignored, for example) and a sidebar for choosing the appropriate content level (Loony Tunes or violent baby murder?).

With a whopping 70+ pages, everything is given just the right amount of detail and information without being overwhelming. And I love the final few pages that helpfully break down how to make such a unique perspective work for both players and DMs.

To top it all off, the book is designed by Jason Bradley Thompson (aka mockman) whom you may recognize as the artist of those fun, classic D&D module maps (full disclosure: he sent me a bunch of maps last year, and they are awesome and now framed in my office).

That means that the book is full of fun, original artwork (and custom character sheets!), further elevating the professional design, and making Dungeon Babies one of the more attractive rulebook variants on the DMs Guild.

I totally get not being sold on the concept. It’s goofy, silly, and purposefully limiting to the players. But that shouldn’t stop you from checking out one of the more interesting and wacky variants on the DMs Guild.

Pros:

  • 14 modified baby classes with special abilities from levels 1-9.
  • Over 30 baby feats that accurately (and humorously) encompass early child development.
  • Dozens of clever, thematic, and interesting spells, perfectly designed for baby adventurers.
  • Large assortment of fun tables: Baby Chaos, random words, things to eat, food effects, etc.
  • Helpful tips and advice for players and DMs, including content levels, recommended adventures, and examples of play.
  • Excellent layout, awesome original artwork, and custom character sheets.

Cons:

  • None!

The Verdict: Hilariously comprehensive and impressively detailed, Dungeon Babies is designed with the loving care of a professional rulebook, and the wit and wisdom of an insightful parent.

A review copy of “Dungeon Babies” was provided by the publisher. Find more DMs Guild Reviews on my website and YouTube channel.

Support my work by using my affiliate links and pledging via Patreon.